


Desperate Measures

by deancasxsamjess



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Language - It's Dean, Post-Episode: s15e05 Proverbs 17:3, Prayer, seeking comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21513760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deancasxsamjess/pseuds/deancasxsamjess
Summary: Somewhere after the third glass of whiskey (he stopped counting), Dean finds himself kneeling beside his bed, hands clasped together.Fuck it, he thinks through the alcohol - induced haze, he's going topray.Not because he actually believes it will help anything orbelieves, period , but because there really isnothingelse left to do.Desperate times and all that.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester (implied) - Relationship, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Desperate Measures

Somewhere after the third glass of whiskey (he stopped counting), Dean finds himself kneeling beside his bed, hands clasped together.

 _Fuck it_ , he thinks through the alcohol - induced haze, he's going to _pray._

Not because he actually believes it will help anything or believes in _anything_ now, period. Chuck has completely destroyed any fragile hope Dean had left.

It's because there really is _nothing_ else left to do.

Desperate times and all that.

He's all out of options. and yes, desperate to comfort Sam in some way, _any_ way. Even if it means this ridiculous, pointless way.

He wants to to able to tell himself that he tried everything.

Dean closes his eyes and scrubs a hand across his face. In his mind, he can hear Sam saying " Dean, think about it. Chuck's _bad_ , right? I mean, an evil bastard, yeah. So, law of opposites. There must be something, someone else _good_ out there." He wonders if that part of Sam is still there; if his brother could find it to cling to that optimistic view if he actually asked him about it. He really fucking doubts it, although..." _maybe tomorrow_." 

So Dean will try to summon up some sense of belief for the both of them.

For -

"Good things do happen."

_Cas._

Dean inhales and exhales a few breaths slowly. The wave of sorrow and anger that hit him at the thought of Castiel was so strong it probably would have brought him to his knees if he wasn't there already.

The angel who somehow perpetually believed in the best of things even when shown otherwise, and just _kept trying,_ through all of his mistakes.

His best friend, the perpetual fuck-up...

_"Something went wrong. Something always goes wrong. You know this."_

_"Why does that something always seem to be you?"_

Dean regrets hurting Cas like that.

All three of them had fucked up massively before, yet Dean solely blamed Cas this time.

Mom's death was on all three of them, though. Also _Chuck_ , because he could have stopped things at any time.

Now Cas was gone and probably never coming back.

Dean had gone too far and Cas had _left_. He had left Dean with an empty Cas - sized place in his very being that nothing and no one else could fill. He suspects it's going to stay that way, so he might as well get used to it.

Yeah, well, that's only what he deserves for being Dean.

Sam and Cas deserve so much more, though. 

_I pray to Castiel to answer his damn phone. You two are friends; don't lose that. Don't punish Sam because of me_ , Dean begins. 

_Cas, please._

_I pray to whatever is good out there that Sam Winchester feels better tomorrow._

_For Castiel to be safe and happy._

_I pray that there is something good out there and that this prayer is heard and answered.  
_

_Maybe tomorrow,_ Dean thinks as he stands up.

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic.
> 
> The Empty is not a factor here, so don't worry. Just assume Cas will find a way to take care of the deal and can be happy. 
> 
> Kudos and especially comments are appreciated.


End file.
